we have pet lesbian snakes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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