I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
