Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
