i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
