Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
