3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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