I didn't shave. On purpose
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
