glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
