Even the bartender felt bad for me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
