how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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