He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So much rum. So many feels.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize