Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Your cock deserves a montage
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
