Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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