I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
