I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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