if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
