He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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