You can't special order awesome
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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