Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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