Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
After last night, I could never be a politician.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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