i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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