He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
