nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
