Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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