Betty ford says i'm here all night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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