I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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