i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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