I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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