just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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