I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
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The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
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Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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