I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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