I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
