she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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