You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
