Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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