my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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