I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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