It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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