Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
