It's Friday. Sex?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
