Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
