She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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