i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
