I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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