bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard