very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".