dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life