A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well