I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
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asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
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I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.