i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize