lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
