We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
