If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sext me about skeletons
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
