you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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