My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
