i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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