i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
