He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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