too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
