Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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