8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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