I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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