I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
