Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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